Forget New Year’s Resolutions (and try these instead)

I love the idea behind new year’s resolutions. A fresh start. A new, improved, more empowered you.

But new year’s resolutions themselves? Yeah, not so much.

Look back over the years at all the resolutions you have made. How much better is your life today because of them?

If you’re like most people, the answer is probably, “Not much.” That’s because new year’s resolutions have a terrible track record when it comes to change that sticks.

This new year, instead of another round of resolutions that don’t stick, how about taking a different approach? One that doesn’t rely on flip of a switch (with faulty wiring) to change your life.

In this series of posts, I’m going to share some alternative ways to engage in positive change in the new year that give you a better chance of change that sticks.

Idea #1: Experiment, experiment, experiment

What if, rather than aspiring to sweeping change, you made the coming year The Year of the Experiment?

Try making each month a different experiment. For example, one month you might experiment with a short meditation every morning. Another month you might experiment with writing a gratitude letter every day. And another you might explore a consistent practice of self-compassion.

The experiments might be all clustered around a common theme (inner peace, for example, or building your business), or they might consist of a broad and diverse set of topics.

When you take an experimental approach, you’re not white-knuckling a specific result. You just get curious. “I wonder what would happen if…?”

Curiosity opens the door to possibility. Staying curious as you see the outcomes of your experiments makes sure you don’t close it. You’re not trying to get specific results. You’re just exploring, learning, and applying what you learn moving forward.

Some of the experiments will “work.” You will get positive results that you can learn from and apply to your life. And some of the experiments “won’t work.” But the beauty of the experimental approach is that you can learn from that too! There is no failure in experimentation – only outcomes and learning.

Deeper dive: How to experiment your way to a life you love

Idea #2: Make 12 New Month’s resolutions

The trouble with New Year’s resolutions is that they only come around once a year. It is inherently an all-or-nothing approach to positive change. Talk about limiting!

Instead of confining yourself to one burst of positive change per year, why not expand the possibilities and try twelve?

Making monthly resolutions gives you a chance to a) reinforce and build on the positive change you have been successfully making, b) get back on the horse if you have wandered off track from the change you want to make, or c) identify a new resolution to commit to for that month.

Those resolutions could be made in service of a single area of focus, or they could be scattered across a wide range of ways you would like to change and improve your life.

Making New Month’s resolutions also acts a little like speed bumps in your life, encouraging you to slow down and evaluate what’s going on, rather than staying caught up in the busyness of life until you realize once again that it’s time for yet another New Year’s resolution.

Deeper dive: Skip New Year’s resolutions – make New Month’s resolutions instead

Idea #3: Give the year a theme

Another way to pry yourself free of the limiting focus of a wholesale January 1^st change is to expand that change by giving the entire year a theme.

Let’s say you want to lose weight, one of the most common resolutions. If you’re like most people, you would go on a diet and get a gym membership. Period. End of story.

But what if that was only the starting point? What if you took a more comprehensive approach that has a longer term engagement baked in?

By making weight loss your year’s theme, you align your approach with how change that sticks tends to happen – with an ongoing focus over time. And you do it in a way that keeps it on your radar for the entire year, not just one short-lived burst of motivation.

During the year, you can create a curriculum for yourself. Read books. Create experiments (see how these resolution alternatives start to overlap in their possibilities?). Take classes. Map out the different areas that are relevant to weight loss (diet, exercise, stress, support, etc.) and spend time exploring and applying what you learn in each of them.

Deeper dive: How a New Year’s theme can change your life

Idea #4: Create a New Year’s vision

Another way of keeping positive change on your radar for the entire year is to create a vision to focus on.

What do you want to achieve? What is your goal for the year? Equally (if not more) important, why?

Spend some time exploring what would feel compelling and energizing enough to keep you interested and engaged throughout the year. Maybe that looks like taking strides towards becoming the go-to expert on a particular subject matter. Maybe it is a difference you feel called to make. Maybe it is a change in direction to a career that is more fulfilling.

Having a single unifying vision for the year creates an ongoing focus, gives you a central organizing structure for your effort and exploration, and gives you something to keep coming back to when you inevitably wander off track.

Whatever it is, make sure there’s enough substance to keep you engaged for the whole year.

Deeper dive: Tap into the power of a New Year’s vision

Idea #5: Take a lesson from the pointillists

You can think of all the above ideas as different ways to create a container for change in the coming year. This last one is less a container and more an alternative way of thinking about the possibilities for positive change.

In 1886, the French artist Georges Seurat pioneered a technique of painting called pointillism. Instead of brush strokes, he created his paintings by applying small dabs of color.

Up close, the paintings look like a mishmash of colored dots, but when you step back, they blend to create an image.

And that’s relevant to making your life a better place to live in the coming year…how?

Because it’s a perfect way of thinking about the small-scale, doable improvements and enhancements that, taken together, can add up to big change. Except instead of paint, the dots are small nuggets of whatever you want to experience more of.

The basic idea is simple. At a micro-scale (our day-to-day lives), we have so much more potential to add a dab of whatever we’re looking for than we often realize. And applied frequently and consistently over time, those dabs can add up to something bigger.

Want more of what is energizing and engaging? Or maybe you want to feel like you’re making more of a difference? Or perhaps it’s about feeling more connection with people? Whatever it is, there’s big power in thinking small.

Deeper dive: The big power of thinking small

A parting wish: May you free your music

There’s a line in a poem by Oliver Wendell Holmes that goes, “Alas for those that never sing, but die with all their music in them.”

My wish for you is that you make the coming year a year focused on freeing your music. Maybe that looks like addressing the things that block its free flow (like stress, or lack of clarity). Or maybe it’s about finding practices that support that song’s sweet resonance (like a gratitude practice). Or it might be about identifying and taking action towards the difference you feel called to make.

Whatever it is, there is a song that life is just waiting to play through you. Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to say yes.

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